


Hot Tears and Ancient Warfare

by Tarlan



Series: Hold Your Breath [10]
Category: Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, Community: fanfic100, Episode Tag, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-05-16
Updated: 2009-05-16
Packaged: 2017-10-20 22:29:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/217767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tarlan/pseuds/Tarlan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack hated the regulations that prevented him from offering comfort to his lover on the death of a friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hot Tears and Ancient Warfare

**Author's Note:**

> Tag for Sunday. Written for **mmom2009** \- Day 16 and also for **fanfic100** #76. Who?

Jack made certain every soldier was standing to attention when the gate connected from Atlantis. He tugged on his dress blues and made sure his peaked cap was straight.

"Attention!" was ordered as the first ripple preceded the front end of the coffin. Rodney sought him out immediately, and Jack was hard-pressed not to offer immediate comfort when he saw the red-rimmed eyes, knowing how much his lover had cared for Carson Beckett. They had been close friends since Antarctica, falling into each other's orbits and, thankfully, Beckett hadn't allowed Rodney's abrasiveness to push him away. All Jack could do was hold Rodney's eyes for a moment and make a silent promise to be there for him once the formalities were over.

He watched as his lover and the rest of the pall bearers lowered the flag-draped coffin onto the pedestal set up at the bottom of the ramp. The Stargate shut down behind them, and the blue and white of the St. Andrews cross seemed overly bright amid the drab grayness of concrete walls and metal, making it all seem a little surreal. Rodney and the others stepped back as six marines stepped forward to take their place, offering deference to the deceased and to the living before raising the coffin. All the military saluted as they moved slowly from the gate room and Jack himself strangely impressed by the perfect, text book salute given by Sheppard, a strong reminder that Sheppard was far more than he portrayed from day to day.

"At ease. Dismissed."

Jack let his shoulders sag from rigid attention as the gate room emptied, pulling his cap from his head and handing it off to Sergeant Harriman, who had appeared at his elbow exactly when needed. Only then did he allow himself to step towards Rodney, standing awkwardly when he found himself with an armful of scientist and too many eyes watching to allow him to offer the comfort Rodney needed.

"Sorry. Sorry." He scrubbed at his eyes, wiping away the tears that threatened to fall.

"No. It's... fine." It wasn't fine. It was pretty crappy, and Jack would never hate the anti-gay regulations any more than he did at that moment. Fortunately, Daniel stepped in before either of them made greater fools of themselves, and gave Rodney the hug that Jack had wanted to offer so badly. No one would question it because neither were soldiers and both had worked alongside Beckett, knowing him well.

"Come on," Daniel murmured. "We've got a transporter to catch."

The beauty of having the _Apollo_ in orbit was the site-to-site transport, negating being cramped up in a commercial airplane for nine or ten hours with nothing to do but think about why you were taking the journey. Or perhaps not why but for whom. For most any other loss, Jack could have assigned this duty to another representative of the USAF, and maybe that would have been the wisest course of action in this case too, except Jack had a duty towards the living, and to one person in particular. The regulations might stop him from offering tactile comfort in public but he could still comfort Rodney with his physical presence. Rodney needed him, and he was damned well going to be there for Rodney, even if only later in the privacy of a hotel room.

The funeral arrangements were already made, in consultation with the Beckett family, and the service and burial would be over within a few hours. They had only a single day to get through, and then a night to recover before the _Apollo_ transported them back to the mountain.

Scotland was chilly at this time of year, with snow still covering the higher ground. The service was as expected but the Becketts seemed to hold no grudge against them, accepting them with a graciousness that was missing from many funerals, especially when they couldn't tell the deceased's family why their loved one had died.

He watched Rodney carefully throughout the service and the wake that followed, wishing he could offer greater support but, strangely, Beckett's family had rallied round him, as if they could measure Rodney's loss and had found it matched their own. Even though she had her other children and grandchildren around her, she grasped hold of Rodney and held on tight. Jack understood, knowing she wanted to hold onto this last link to her lost son but he could see how it tore Rodney apart when he could not give her the answers she sought.

Rodney looked drained by the end of the wake, discarding his dress jacket on the back of a chair as they slumped into seats in the empty hotel bar.

They spent the rest of the evening in the bar but Jack noticed Rodney had barely touched his whiskey except to sip during the obligatory toasts to Beckett. As it closed on midnight, he looked even more exhausted but was obviously fighting against the need to sleep. Daniel caught Jack's eye and indicated towards Rodney and then the exit, and Jack nodded. Someone had to break up this private wake so they'd all be rested for the return to duty tomorrow. He stood up and stretched, glad he had changed out of his dress uniform and into civilian clothes as soon as they had arrived back at the hotel. It made him feel like an ordinary man rather than a soldier.

"Time to turn in," he stated, smiling inwardly when Daniel reached over and took Rodney's barely touched glass.

"You can make sure Rodney gets to his room in one piece."

"I'm perfectly capable of finding my way around a hotel," Rodney griped but the protest was half-hearted at best.

Jack said good night to the rest, seeing the acknowledgment in Sheppard's eyes but avoiding any questions that neither could ask or answer. He steered Rodney towards the lobby, resisting the temptation to reel him in for a kiss as soon as they stepped inside the elevator in case it had cameras. Instead, he waited until they reached Rodney's room and followed his lover inside, grateful that Rodney had insisted on a single rather than one shared with one of the others.

As the door closed behind them, Jack waited for Rodney to hang his jacket over the back of the chair before pulling Rodney into his arms and simply holding him the way he'd wanted to since Rodney stepped through the Stargate. After a moment, he felt Rodney sag against him, felt his arms wrapping around Jack's waist and his sharp nose pressing into his collar bone while Rodney's forehead pushed against his neck.

"I still don't know whether I'm supposed to laugh or cry. Exploding tumors. It's like some great big cosmic joke, and I keep expecting Carson to leap out and shout _Gotcha_ , except... except..."

Jack held Rodney tighter as he felt the warmth of tears seeping through his thin t-shirt. He let Rodney cry on his shoulder, knowing it would help him to be stronger tomorrow when they returned to Stargate Command. Eventually, the tears subsided and Jack pushed him onto the bed gently, disappearing into the bathroom for a washcloth so he could give Rodney time to pull himself back together.

He knew the small, "Thanks," was for more than the washcloth, and sank down beside Rodney, pressing them together from knees to shoulders.

"Of course, I'll have to wring out my shirt now," he stated dryly, glad for the soft snort of amusement that proved the teasing words hadn't fallen flat, but one glance showed the abject misery in Rodney's red-rimmed eyes.

In one swift movement, Jack pulled off the t-shirt and kicked off his sneakers. He dropped down onto his knees, grimacing at the protest in the right one, and unlaced Rodney's shoes before pulling them off along with the socks. Then he turned his attention to the already loosened tie, untying it and laying it over the back of a chair that was in easy reach. Quickly, he worked the buttons of the dress shirt, pushing it from Rodney's broad shoulders, slowly stripping his lover until he was lying naked on the bed. Jack winced as he climbed to his feet, stripping off the remainder of his own clothes before crawling onto the bed beside Rodney.

He touched his lover slowly, reverently, drawing out the pleasure for comfort rather than lust, rocking his hips against Rodney's and holding him close as they found release. Jack kissed him tenderly on eyes and cheeks before reaching his parted lips, possessing Rodney's mouth with slow licks as his mouth grew slack and he fell into a deeply needed sleep. He held his breath until he was sure Rodney was asleep before pulling him gently into his arms.

Jack held his lover through the rest of the night, pillowing Rodney's head upon his shoulder. His mind twisted with all the ways the Ancients had screwed up in their war against the Wraith, and of the insane lengths they had gone in the hope of victory. All for nothing, leaving behind a dangerous legacy that killed the innocent along with the enemy.

He shivered, wondering how many more Ancient devices lay hidden in Atlantis, waiting for the unwary to activate them. It was selfish but all he could hope was that he would never have to face a coffin draped in the Canadian Maple Leaf.

END


End file.
